Something I have learned as a mummy to twins, one with profound disabilities and one without, is that both need to be included in the others world as equally as the other.
What I mean by this is, I try to include Violet in all activities I do with Henry. But I also try to include Henry as much as I can in Violets activities too. As any sibling would he feels he is missing out as Violet has so many “special” bits of equipment and toys.
This came home to me in a simple but profound moment only a few weeks ago. Please don’t judge me for not realising this sooner, my world is frantic and full on. I have little time to reflect.
So one day we were all in the living room, my mum was over as it was Nanny Monday (her regular day coming to help out). I had taken Violet out of her specialist chair and given her to my Mum to hold as V adores her and wanted snuggles.
Henry immediately climbed into her chair, as he often does. This time he said “Violets car, ride, Mama, ride” It dawned on me that he wanted to have a “ride”. He’d seen me push Violet around the house in this chair since Dec 16. He thought it was a “car”. So I pushed him round the house about ten times, his beaming smile had me in silent tears. How had I not realised.
He jumps in her Walker when she’s not in it. He loves that.
This morning he did it again. They share a bath most days, Violet in her Splashy bath seat and Henry sat in the space left over. As I got Violet out first and deposited her onto towels in the living room before coming back to grab Henry. He had got onto her bath seat. He asked to be strapped in. So I obliged and he loved playing in there for a good five minutes.
So when everyone bangs on about inclusiveness, bear a thought for the siblings of special needs children too. They crave to be included too.